Goodness but I'm muddled.
So the school list serve is 1% interesting or useful information, 50% people wanting to sell or buy football tickets, 49% announcements about school social events I couldn't care less about. On Friday there was something called the "Booze Cruise," which I think was about like it sounds--bunch of people getting smashed out on a boat. Today, someone posted some pictures from the event. I flipped through them and saw some of the insipid people from my classes were there, as well as a few of the less insipid people. I would rather poke myself in the eye with sharp sticks than attend one of these parties.
Why, then, do I feel all left out and like I'm not one of the cool crowd (uh, cuz you're not, dumbass)? I was invited. I could have gone. I didn't want to. It wouldn't have been fun. It would have been stupid. I'm completely uninterested in having an school-centered social life. I've had a really good relaxing weekend at home. So where does the jealousy come from? I think it's sad and pathetic that these people are still reliving their undergraduate experiences, I want no part of it.
Why do I get so disgusted with myself for being antisocial? I have friends, both the ones that are scattered to the four winds and the ones here (Susan and Tony). I don't WANT these social climbing nitwit wanna-be politicians as friends.
But I guess I still want them to want me...:(