There is lots floating around in my little head this morning. Walking Chance was great--beautiful weather, he was well-behaved, and my mind just wandered. I had no idea having a dog would offer me this particular chance for peace and reflection in the mornings. It's so nice. I'm sure that once it gets into winter and it's dark and shit when I need to walk him I'll be less all about it, but for now it's lovely.
Anyway, I realized that I am worried about what happens when Susan and Tony finally go get their little girl. I'm so excited for them, and I think they will make exceptional parents, but you hear all those stories about how it's tough for people with kids to be friends with people without kids...I'm afraid of losing them as friend. I think most of their other friends (the ones closer to their own age) probably have kids, too, so they will have more in common with them than with us...blah blah blah. I don't know why I am even fretting about it--it will either work out or it won't. But I just enjoy hanging out with them so much, I don't want that to all go away when the baby gets here.
My selfishness knows no bounds.
What else have I been thinking about? I had so much to write and it sort of flew out of my head as soon as I got back in the door. Stupido...
Oh, yeah, thinking about internships for the summer. I'd really like to stay here, it would be infinitely easier, Mark and I wouldn't have to do the LDR thing, I wouldn't have to pay rent in two places, etc. However, the more I look the more I see better opportunities elsewhere (including and right now especially in Portland). It wouldn't be THAT tough to go back for the summer, would it? On one hand my relationship (my family, I guess, when I think about Mark+Chance) is my top priority. On the other hand, I don't want to sell myself short career-wise (or financially) by taking something mediocre here when I could do something excellent elsewhere. This is going to require a lot of thought.
Off to class in a bit, then back here for the afternoon, then class tonight. My weekends have been so relaxed lately that the week sort of takes the breathe out of me when it rolls around. Mark and I even found time to watch a DVD last night ("Philadelphia"). With the Ani show on Tuesday night, this week is going to be especially busy. I'll survive, I know, especially since I miraculously finished all of my reading (well, all of it that I'm going to do) over the weekend so I don't have that pressure. Still, I find myself in "gearing up" mode this morning, as if I am headed into battle and not just a week like any other.
I am a little bit concerned at the amount of energy my everyday life seems to be taking out of me recently. It reminds me uncomfortable of The Time Before Antidepressants. :(