Dear Person Who Irritates Me,
Please stop going out of your way to irritate me. If you do not, I may start screaming and never stop. I may abuse my power like a petty little dictator. I may hunt you down and beat you with a wet noodle. I have a monster headache, I'm fat, I had to get a Pap smear today, and I think my dog is getting sick. I need to start holiday baking and I am not in the Christmas spirit. Mark is going to call me to come pick him up at some point, and that irrationally pisses me off. To make a long story short, I'm not in the fucking mood to deal with your passive aggressive horseshit today. Go ruin the hard work and soul of someone else for awhile.
Fuck you,
Grace