I have a big fat crush. One of the first I have had in a long time. She's a woman in one of my classes. She is from another country (Eastern Europe) and has an amazing accent and way of speaking. She's obviously very bright and is almost finished with a dual masters.
And she looks like Angelina Jolie. Or rather she looks like what Angelina Jolie would look like if Angelina Jolie were a regular person and not a cartoon character superstar.
So she's amazingly beautiful. Really, stunningly beautiful. And I'm afraid I am staring at her in class. I am trying really hard not to, but I'm afraid I am.
She sat next to me today, and she also has this really amazing smell, as well as very neat handwriting.
That's all I know about her. That and my heart skips beats when she walks into the room.
This puts me in an odd position. First, there's the being in a relationship thing. I am not too worried about that, because this isn't like a real attraction, you know? It is a superficial crush on someone I don't know. It's not a real threat or anything. But I still feel kinda bad.
Beyond that, though, there is the fact of even having a crush on another woman that is based so much on what she looks like. Hello objectification. And that puts me in a weird space as a feminist.
So yeah. That's where I'm at today.
That and I still have no freaking idea whether or not to take this internship.