Hello, I'm Grace and I'm an alcoholic.
Well, not really, but that's where I wanted to start, because what I am thinking about this morning is the words we use to identify ourselves. I'm very uncomfortable with AA for a ton of reasons, but one of those reasons is the sentance above--I don't like the idea of "an alcoholic" being the first term you use to identify yourself. In fact, I'm not sure I like terms used as identifying markers at all, especially when they get long and complex and they don't really fit.
I will take myself as an example. Here are some terms that could be used to identify me:
-woman
-female
-feminist
-bisexual
-monogamous
-dog-owner
-non-mother
-white
-Oregonian
-Texan
-student
-non-profit employee
-Virgo
-INTJ
The list could go on, but that's enough for now. When I look at this list of terms, though, it says absolutely NOTHING about me. These are just easy identifiers, words that people can make easy associations with--they aren't me. They certainly aren't when taken seperately, but even the whole list doesn't say a whole hell of a lot.
So why are people so damn attached to their identifying words? When we describe a friend to a third person, do we relate a story or something that reveals who the person really is to us? Usually not. Usually we say, "my friend X, who is a ____ from _____ and is married to _____ and has _____." We use easily definable characteristics--sometimes sexuality or nationality, sometimes physical characteristics, sometimes job status, sometimes things that are even more arbitrary. But do these signify anything real or true about the person we're describing? What about when we're describing ourselves? If I say I'm a 24 year-old student/non-profit employee, originally from Oregon but transplanted to Texas, who lives with my partner and my dog, that seems like it should give quite a bit of info, but does it really tell you anything?