The devil I know has returned. It's pouring here. Flooded streets and sidewalks, slow traffic, no visibility, getting soaked just getting in the car pouring. It seems as if it's never going to stop. My back yard is a lake, I had to ford rivers to take Chancey for a walk this morning.
And with the return of the rain, like clockwork, the return of the depression. Getting out of bed may well have been the biggest accomplishment I will have today. I have two classes this afternoon/evening, and I know I won't be there. I can't imagine getting in the car driving to campus, much less sitting in class. I'm struck with that familiar feeling of not being able to participate in my own life. The only thing that seems a reasonable option is getting back into bed, curling up under the covers where it is warm and dry, and staying there until spring.
The up was a lot shorter than I'd hoped it would be this time. I didn't accomplish much of anything that I actually needed to do. Perhaps the carnage was kept to a minimum, but at least I felt alive.
To come: playlist of songs about rain.