So this is one of those things I have posted about a few times in the last couple of days, then erased the posts and hoped nobody saw them. So if you see this and then come back and it's gone, don't worry--I probably just thought better of it again.
It is something I really want to write/talk about, but I'm just not sure how.
I made a therapist appointment. Finally. After more than a year of putting it off. It's a week from Monday, and I'm terrified. What if I don't like her? What if I just get in there and break the fuck down and everything comes out at once? What if she doesn't like me? What if she says there is something essentially wrong with my personality and I'll never be fixed? What if she says there is nothing fixable wrong with me and this is just the way I am? Worst yet, what if she says nothing?
What if all she wants to talk about are my parents?
I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea if this will help. I'm terrified that the experience will just be one more thing to feel shitty about.
I'm really really tempted to call the whole thing of. Yes, I accept that I could probably be very helped by therapy, but WHAT IF I'M NOT?