So I am awash in questions and contradictions having to do with my summer internship. As I think I've mentioned, I declined the position in Oregon. Spending the summer away just didn't feel right, and I think that was the right decision.
But now...well, I'm second and third and fifteenth guessing myself. I have a sure thing--an offer of a decent-paying position at the non-profit where I currently work. Upsides: it's stable, I love my coworker, I know what I'm getting into. Downsides: I don't really think I want to do non-profit work long-term, I'm not sure the boss likes me and I'm not sure I like her (but I'm not sure I don't, either), I'm not totally sure what I'd be doing, there doesn't seem to be anywhere to advance to within the organization (and I don't think I'd want to stay there after I graduate anyway).
And then there are the plethora of other things I am applying to, but I have nothing yet (not even an interview) and I can't count on being offered anything. There's a legislative aid position, a position with the Dept. of Insurance that would last through next year and culminate in my professional report, a position with the state council on local governments, a position with a state women's organization...these all carry different levels of pay, etc., but I think they'd each be financially doable.
Ag! I don't want to give up my sure thing, but I feel like I owe it to the org. where I am currently working to tell them sooner, rather than later, if I'm not planning on working there over the summer. I'm afraid of burning bridges, but I'm also afraid of taking the "easy way out" (i.e. the sure thing).
Suggestions? Comments? I'm stumped.