Last night I had a migraine. This isn't exactly unusual, but this was the worst one I've had in some time, and it didn't go away and let me sleep until about 5 or 6am (I went to bed with it at about 12:30). It was fucking nasty. Anyway, I was thinking this morning about the dynamic of having a migraine. There is something so lonely about it--it's just you and your pain, and nobody can help you. In fact, interaction from the outside, no matter how well-meaning, inevitably makes things worse. It's very strange to think that I laid there, awake, for more than 5 hours. It seems like it was both less and more time than that. The pain is so all-consuming that you don't get bored and in some ways time goes fast, but every minute is so torturous that times goes very slowly at the same time.
In better news, this morning is T's birthday brunch. I'm feeling pretty wrung out from my night, but I'm excited anyway, and my excitement was compounded when I put on a pair of pants that haven't fit for about a year and they look great. The numbers on the scale aren't going down anymore (and are in fact going up in the past few days), but my clothes are telling a different story, which is nice.
Mark and I had a strange discussion last night about what would happen if I got pregnant. Given the length of time I've been on the pill and the clocklike accuracy with which I take it, I don't think either one of us is particularly worried this will happen, but it's always a good discussion to revisit every now and again, just in case. When we've had it before, we've always agreed that, tough as it would be, aborting would be the only answer. Now, however, we're not so sure. We know that unideal as it would be, we could have a baby now. Financially it would be tough, it would mean a lot of sacrifice, etc., but it would be possible. What a very strange transition that is. I still don't want to have a baby now, or any time in the near future, but it's odd to think that I could, and it wouldn't even be all that strange. I wouldn't really be a young mom anymore. It wouldn't really be all that "irresponsible" of us to decide to have a kid. Very fucking strange.
We finally saw Finding Nemo last night. To be honest, I was underimpressed. It was cute, and the animation was very cool, but I was expecting something transendental with all of the good stuff I'd heard about it, so I ended up a bit disappointed. Susan and Tony and I also saw The Fog of War on Friday night, and I should probably review that here, since I definitely think it was worth watching, but do have some problems with it. I just don't seem to have the energy to write an actual review, though.