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Sloth and indolence day

I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me today. I have done everything I shouldn't have and none of what I should have (except that I did finally clean the floors). I stayed home from class for no reason, I went to Old Navy and spent $125 on clothes, I ate 4 super-size sugar cookies, I bit all my nails to the quick...you name it, I fucked it up today.

I don't feel depressed. I don't feel tired or sad or good or bad. Actually, come to think of it, I don't feel much of anything. Certainly nothing that could lead to any kind of motivation to DO anything. That seems bad. I have been eating terribly, sleeping plentifully, and haven't excercised in a week. The less I do, the less I feel like doing.

Obviously the thing to do is to force myself to do some stuff in order to break out of this vicious cycle. But I just don't have the motivation. And at this point I'm so digusted with myself I don't even want to try. I want another cookie and another nap, but even taking the dog out just seems like so much unnecessary work.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on April 5, 2004.

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