One true thing


I was just taking a shower, thinking about those things that people say that everybody knows aren't true. The best example I can come up with is people who insist that high school is "the best time of your life."

I went to high school. Not that long ago. I am just beginning post-high school year #8. And high school was, by far, the worst time of my life. Well, middle school ages may have been worse, actually. Not sure. But everything post-high school has been significantly better than high school--that much I am absolutely positive about.

What in the world makes people tell high school kids that they are in the best time of their lives? And how does that not lead to major suicide outbreaks? I don't think I ever believed high school was the best time of my life. If I had, I don't think I would have made it out alive. Talk about nothing to live for.

It makes me wonder where it comes from. Are there are truly people for whom high school is the best time of their life? Does that mean they had a significantly better time than I did in high school, or does it just mean the rest of their lives sucked so badly that high school was bright spot in comparison?

Just for the record, in case anyone I went to high school with and don't like is reading this, high school was not the best time of my life. It sucked. I hated it. Chances are very good that I hated you. It is NOT something I want to re-live. Ever. I don't want to go to a fucking reunion, I don't want to reminisce about old sports events or dances or minor acts of illegality or that time that one person got SOOOO drunk. We may have gone to school together for twelve consecutive years, and I still don't have an emotional attachment to you. If I dated you in high school, I am not still in love with you. I don't remember what it was like to sleep with you, besides vaguely embarrassing and painful. I don't have a box of love notes from you stashed somewhere. If I had an unrequited crush on you in high school, I don't still think you are cute, or funny, or sexy. In fact, I don't think about you at all, except perhaps to idly wonder if you are in jail.

I got a lot of "you're a think you're better than us..." in high school. At the time, I denied that was the case. Well, I'll cop to it now. I AM better than you. To everyone who called me names or talked about me behind my back (or to my face) or piled me with emotional angsty bullshit that I had to work through later; to everyone who made me embarrassed to be smart, to have ideas and opinions, embarrassed to have passion for the few things in high school that kept me sane: I am better than you. I was then, I am now. And as I get older, my life just keeps getting better--I just keep getting better. And you are still re-living high school.

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April 2012

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