It's always been really important to me not to quit. I was never the kid who took her toys and went home--I always wanted to stick it out, no matter what the argument was. Maybe this is good, maybe it's just that I liked to fight, I'm not sure. But I've never been able to give a relationship up easily, even if it's really obvious that it's doomed.
But it's time.
Looking back on that last paragraph, I know what it was that kept me sticking it out and trying to fight my way through conflicts rather than walk away from them as a kid. It wasn't high moral ground, it was my desperate wish that at the end of the day, after whatever the fight was ended, everyone would like me.
Well, everyone is never gonna like me. And if I keep this up, I'm not going to like myself, either.
I've been in a couple of relationships where I stayed way too long. One "romantic" relationship, but more noteably, a friendship that sucked life out of me for more than a decade before I was finally able to let it go. A decade during which I spent a decreasing amount of time feeling like a worthwhile human being and an increasing amount of time feeling like nothing I ever did was going to be good enough, and no matter what happened, it was all my fault. The harder I tried, the more backed into a corner I felt, with every decision I made being the wrong one and grounds for abusive language and constant abandonment threats. It was impossible to see at the time, but looking back on it I know that I gave that relationship and that person EVERYTHING I had to give, taking it away from other people in my life and most importantly from myself, and she never gave me much back, she just complained I wasn't giving enough, told me I was stupid, and told me I was weak.
And if anything I did was weak, it was not leaving sooner than I did. When you are putting time and energy and love that you don't really have to spare into someone/something and the return you are getting on it is constant self-doubt and sleepless nights and humiliation, it's time to give it up.