203. 203. 203. 203. 203. 203.
That's what I saw on the scale this morning, and that is what is echoing through my head. 203 pounds.
Folks, that is way the fuck more than I should weigh, and it's come on way the fuck faster than it ought to have.
I'm paralyzed with it. I have no fucking idea how I am going to fight it. Taking off ten pounds is one thing, but I need to take off thirty to be at a reasonable weight, and I can't imagine that I am going to be able to take them off anywhere near as quickly as I put them on. If at all. This may just the beginning.
I have no will power. I know what I need to do (eat better and exercise--it's not rocket science), but I feel like I'm trying to move through sludge, like my feet are stuck to the bottom, and I'm going nowhere but towards fatter. Fat, fatter, fattest.
Two-fucking-oh-three.
Comments (4)
I don't understand how you, who's got to be a good 4 inches taller than me, at least, has an goal weight of less than 10 pounds more than me. What am I missing?
Posted by frog | May 9, 2005 1:14 PM
I don't know. Bone structure? Really, taking off 20 lbs would probably be OK, but the weight I was the most comfortable at was about 175.
Posted by Grace | May 9, 2005 1:16 PM
what a day it was for us, grace. i was trying on tank tops today and the dressing room i was in had two mirrors so i could see my back, specifically, my back fat. for the first time in my life i'm realizing i'm fat. not sure how to handle it.
Posted by wyzardess | May 9, 2005 4:02 PM
Honestly, Grace, I don't think you look fat in the slightest. I've been that weight, and I'm shorter than you, and I didn't consider myself fat at the time. You are so tall and willowy that you can carry it off, and you're also one of the most gorgeous people I know. Give yourself a break!!
Posted by Sofiya | May 9, 2005 5:39 PM