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I had a dream last night about my daughter. My daughter, who has never been born, or even conceived, or even really considered, and yet I could see her so clearly. She was maybe 3, with curly blonde hair. Skinny, gawky, but beautiful, and so smart. Her knee was skinned. I was wearing a suit in the dream, and I sat on the floor to play with her. We were in a room with good natural light and stacks of books. I could hear her laugh, and I could feel the love and the impatience I would have towards her.

Where is this coming from? Not only is it weird for me to think about having a kid, but it's doubly weird for me to think about a girl--when I do imagine this, I ALWAYS imagine a boy. But this wasn't like I was imagining, it was like I was remembering.


Was that child in the dream you?

Nope, at least not in any form that I recognized myself.

I have not-uncommon dreams about being pregnant, or having a new baby. And I have no intention or desire to conceive, not in the near future, maybe not ever. I think for me it's an anxiety dream, especially the pregnancy one, that's something to do with being afraid of not having control over my life. Not saying that's what it is for you! Just that in my case I think that the "meaning" of the dream is nothing to do with actual baby-thoughts at all, just a symbol of something else. So maybe your dreams have a meaning that's nothing to do with kids. That's just a completely random guess, of course!

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April 2012

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