As you are faithful readers who hang on my every word, I trust you remember a little bit back when I lined out three goals for myself. In case you don't, I'll reiterate:
1. Stop biting my fingernails.
2. Learn to live on a budget.
3. Get control of my diet and exercise (and yes, lose the extra weight I'm carrying).
I originally said I was going to tackle all three at once, then it was pointed out to me how stupid of an idea that is, so my plan was to take them as they are listed, from least to most difficult, and start one upon successful completion (as much as you can have completion with any of these) of the one before it.
Well, my fingernails are grown out. It actually hasn't been tough at all, I've just kept polish on them, which is the same strategy I used last time I quit biting them. The problem comes when I start getting lazy and not polishing them regularly--then I start biting again.
So, now that I've beaten Goal #1, at least for the moment, I need to move on to Goal #2. Goal #2 is exponentially harder than Goal #1. I have a shopping problem. It is an addiction. It gets worse when I work long hours (like I have been recently). I have recently been closer to out of control with my spending than I have been in a long, long time. I've made some large purchases (new computer, plane ticket), but the bigger problem has been a lot of smaller purchases (lots and lots of bags/purses, books, CDs, and bath products). I think I've bought something online nearly every day the past couple of weeks. It's bad.
So that's the goal I am moving on to: living within a budget. But I am not going to make a strict budget this time, or keep a spreadsheet, or any of that. Why? Because I think that my pattern when trying to deal with this issue has been to focus A LOT on "how" I should do it (this budgeting software, this allowance, etc.) and not focus at all on simply not. fucking. shopping. Or at least not shopping unintentionally, recreationally. My very wise friend Frog told me quite some time ago that to get this spending thing under control, I simply need to stop shopping for fun. And much as I really, really hate to think this, she's right.
So...that's the new goal. No more recreational shopping. I am going to start keeping a list of things I want to run out and buy as I think of them, and I think it will be totally reasonable, at some point, to pick a thing or two off that list and buy it for myself, intentionally. But for the next little while, cold turkey is the way to go. There isn't anything I need to buy, so I won't buy anything. Seems like it should be simple, doesn't it?
Comments (7)
when i was trying to figure out a schedule for studying, my advisor suggested spending a week or so writing down how long it takes me to do other things. like, making a schedule in reverse to help me see how much time i was wasting. kinda helped.
Posted by wyzardess | June 10, 2005 2:10 AM
It's not wisdom so much as it is experience. Have faith in yourself, and a whole lot of patience.
Posted by frog | June 10, 2005 7:30 AM
Best of luck, and congrats on your success with #1. The first time a summer cold comes around and you don't get it, I bet your nails will look even more satisfying. I think your cold turkey attitude with shopping sounds like a really good idea. Hard as hell, but maybe the most chance of success if shopping for you is like a chemical addiction is for a lot of other people. My dad just went cold turkey again with drinking, because he says that's the only way that works for him, and he's on his 4th week now. If he can do it, you definitely can. Good luck, and I'm with Frog--have confidence in yourself.
Posted by Scand79 | June 10, 2005 11:26 AM
Ignore frog's faux modesty -- she is wise. :p Like with all the things we do to soothe emotions, I think stopping the recreational shopping might also go easier if you think about what needs it's fulfilling and how you might otherwise get those needs met. Maybe even write down some alternatives to have ready when the urge to "self-medicate" hits (you know, besides biting your nails). Good luck. I have great respect for your goal and I know you can do it.
Posted by Gosling | June 10, 2005 12:07 PM
oh, that's a good point. i noticed that a lot of my urge to shop comes from simply a desire to leave my apartment. i can't do much about it during the winter, but in spring/summer, i instead grab a book and go to the park.
Posted by wyzardess | June 11, 2005 7:17 AM
Brainstorm now and make your winter list of places with few items for purchase. Some ideas: head for a bookstore that has a cafe for a few hours and just read with a coffeee (take only small amount of cash), visit your downtown (museums, libraries, art galleries, etc.), zoo (if not too cold), join your YMCA (solves two of your goals for winter!). Sorry, that's all I can think of right now. Just wish I was good at taking my own advice.
Posted by NJ | June 11, 2005 9:32 AM
When I do the guest speaker thing at smoking cessation groups, one of the things I emphasize is planning--you know you're gonna wanna. If you figure out alternatives beforehand, then you can alleviate the panic that sometimes comes with wanting to indulge the addiction and not being able to think what to do instead. Good luck!
Posted by Emma Goldman | June 14, 2005 8:18 AM