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I seem to be having one. I'm having what I think are panic attacks. Mark and both had about an hour of hysterical crying last night. I want my dog back. I need to take some time off work, and I can't. I need to grieve, or heal, or something, and I'm not. I thought I was doing so well, but my facade is falling fucking apart.
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Comments (6)
I'm so sorry - you are right, you do need to grieve. You do need to cry, and you have every right to mourn your lost family member. At the risk of sounding trite, it will get better, eventually, and you will get through it. Hang in there. Lean on Mark, and do what you need to do to get through this. I'm thinking about you.
Posted by Laura | July 28, 2005 9:08 AM
i'm thinking about you too, and sending my love and support to you and mark. i couldn't sleep for a week after what happened with y'all and chance--i can only imagine that what you are going through is that, magnified a million-fold.
Posted by melinda | July 28, 2005 9:47 AM
That sucks so much. Can I help? Email if you need anything.
Posted by the therapeutic writer | July 28, 2005 1:09 PM
I wish I could make the pain go away. :(
Posted by Siobhan | July 28, 2005 6:49 PM
*big hugs* I know we've talked about the idea of funerals, and I know you hate them, but isn't there some way of formally remembering Chance and maybe starting the closure process? Closure, as in healing and picking up the pieces, not as in forgetting. Maybe a place that he liked--like the agility course at Lee's or something--where you and Mark, together, could go and just have some time to cry and really focus on remembering him and saying goodbye? It's hard to do, and maybe it sounds dumb or corny. There is a reason why death ceremonies are found in nearly all cultures around the world, though. Perhaps you and Mark can find a way that works for you and your beliefs.
Posted by Scand79 | July 28, 2005 7:11 PM
Grace I am so sorry. Kev and I have been sending good thoughts your way since melinda told us what happened, hope they help eventually. Remeber not to bottle it up. Your lucky to have good shoulder in Mark, you should use it.
Posted by wiley and elusive | July 29, 2005 11:12 AM