What if No One's Watching?

This bit of silliness is from Rahel over at Going Dutch.

Instructions: Google "*your first name* needs" and see what the Internet thinks you need.

Grace needs:

• to see what she has helped cause (um, globally?)
  
• no help to perservere (wow, that's pretty self-sufficient sounding)
  
• to find her will (hrm...find her willpower, maybe...)
  
• a new home (I do?)
• a shrink (yeah, like that's news)

• a lodger to help restore her house (that will be news to Mark...)
• to be reading from books (to read from fewer books would actually be better)
  
• to learn how to be a little more graceful (this is a lost cause)
  
• to touch up (I like this, it's mysterious--touch up what?)
  
• to find someone (news to me)
  
• to access a file given with a relative pathname (right, but that would be, like, work)
  
• external libraries (as opposed to internal ones?)
  
• to be recalled (because her parts are defective)
  
• more one on one time to be properly trained (many would agree with this)

• to be a star (I'll say!)
• no such help (not sure what this one even means)
  
• a computing platform that supports Java (I think I have one, actually)
  
• a man (um, no)
  
• to be exercised (true)
  
• to close down shop (I think not!)
• that human foundation (I'm pretty sure I'm human down to the foundation)
  
• new servants (ha!)
• to be cultivated (it's gonna be an uphill battle)

• as much healing as a Pilgrim (are Pilgrims in particular need of healing?)
  
• to hide a terrible secret (makes me sound very mysterious...)
  
• to stop worrying about Chloe (the only Chloe I know is an 8-lb Yorkie-Poo--I don't spend much time worrying about her)
  
• to be read and taken to heart (in an ideal world, that's what the blog is for)
  
• to find some class (again, a long uphill battle)
  
• Tender Loving Care (I'm actually pretty good in that department)
  
• to assemble a subcommittee (not if we have to have meetings)
  
• to see *everything* (no shit)
  
• to find out fast (again, true)

• an assistant (probably wouldn't hurt, but man I'd be a pain to work for)
  
• to be experienced (this would certainly help with the job hunt)
  
• constant care (I don't think so, but Mark would likely disagree)
  
• help with the simplest chores (only if it involves cooking)
  
• a Guide (like a guide to life?)
  
• big money (sure!)
  
• to be seen and felt (definitely)
  
• a family committed to immediate obedience training (OK, that one is just funny)
  
• immortality (not really a big desire of mine)

• our cooperation (that would indeed make things easier)