There was a big storm last night, complete with pouring rain and massive thunder and lightening. As I lay in bed and watched it, I couldn't help but feel it was very appropriate. That's where I feel like I am: in the storm before the calm, alternating hiding out, trying to avoid it, and dancing around in it, soaking it up.
Part of it, obviously, is the visitor cycle we're in. My best college friends, H and M, were here for a few days, leaving yesteday morning. It was a wonderful visit, and I wish beyond just about anything that we lived closer together (they are in Boston and Connecticutt). Mark and I are already planning a trip to their neck of the woods for this summer. Yay for Jet Blue! The same day H and M left, though, another college friend, J, showed up, and she's here for a week. It's great to see her (it's been years), but by the time she leaves we will have had guests for 13 straight days, which is a lot. So that contributes to my storm. That's the part I'm dancing in.
Then there is the rest of it. I have some pretty intense work stress right now, which I am not going to get into here until it's over and I've come to a conclusion, but it's definitely part of my storm, and it's part I'm hiding from, or at least I'd like to be. There's a danger, I think, in trying to make too many changes at once in your life, trying to improve yourself and your state of things on too many different fronts. Makes things stormy, and it's overwhelming. Still, all of my current-self and life-improvement projects are necessary, and I don't feel like any of them can be put off. So I'll just have to weather it.
So I wait for the calm. I try to write. I try not to worry. And I wait.