What if No One's Watching?

I dreamed about you again last night
You never have the same face twice
But I always know it's you
And you're always looking better than you really do
-Everything But the Girl

I've been having extremely odd dreams, prominently featuring two guys I used to date. The first, M., is someone I dated early in high school. It was a massively unhealthy relationship for me, though brief and, retrospectively, very educational. I haven't seen him in years. I learned recently that he married last summer and is happily employed in the field he'd always intended to be employed in, and I'm happy for him and wish him no ill will. We had a brief relationship over ten years ago. I couldn't be more over it. Seriously.

The second, S., was a more serious relationship. The most serious one I've had besides the one I am in now, actually. We dated pretty much all the way through college. It, too, was pretty fucked up, but it's also in the past and there's no ill will there either, though there certainly was for quite a while. S. and I remain friends, in that way in which you stay friends with someone like that.

So I have no idea why I'm dreaming about them. My dream last night, featuring M., was about me walking around the video rental store that used to be in my home town (isn't there anymore), dressed in a long pink wig, and running into him. I was horribly embarrassed about the wig, but for some reason couldn't remove it. The whole dream was very frustrating and I woke up really irritated. Even in the dream I remember thinking "I'm doing so well now! Why can't I show these people the truth about how well I'm doing? Why do they always catch me off guard like this?" Which is irritating, because why the hell would I care? I AM doing well, and I don't have anything to prove. And what the fuck would be wrong with a pink wig anyway?