My God, you all, I am tired.
Within the past three weeks, I have: sold my house, moved across the country with all my stuff and five animals, worked 50+ hours a week, submitted a grant, turned 30, started putting together a new house, had a consultation for my first large-scale tattoo, flown to Boston, attended three days worth of wedding festivities, flown back from Boston, and made a handful of major electronics purchases. I can't remember the last time I cracked a book, wrote in my journal, did any yoga, or even took a long shower.
But now, I swear, it's going to calm down. My schedule for the next few weeks looks remarkably clear. Tomorrow, I get the big exciting tat. Next week, I may take a short business trip. In one to two weeks, I'll start a regular, no overtime work schedule. And so my nice, normal, scheduled life will re-commence. This is good, because I am so done with being this busy.
Some people are made to live like whirling dervishes. They love moving from one high-stress, exciting thing to another, keeping lots of balls in the air, constantly moving. I always thought I'd be one of those people, and it was just the need of some exciting stuff to occupy me that kept me from it. The older I get, though, the more I realize that it's just not me. I really like having time to enjoy things. I like moving slowly. I like having lots of time to make things, read things, watch things, write things. I really, really like to get enough sleep--maybe even excessive sleep. I like to be at my house. I like having no plans. Periods where there is a lot going on and lots of things are changing, like the one I'm just coming out of, do energize me, but they also exhaust me, and not in a good-tired, "I'll sleep well tonight" way. They exhaust my spirit. They dull me.
I need to regenerate. I need to slough off the stress that has built up on me for the past few weeks (this whole summer, really). I need to establish a new routine and work myself comfortably into it. And I really need to start blogging every day again. I didn't even realize, until having so much time away, how much I've come to depend on daily or near-daily entries here as lifelines, both to myself and to the little community of readers that has built up here. Not being around here much lately has added a lot to my feeling off-kilter, and I am very much hoping this is the end of that period.
What I'm saying, I guess, is I'm back. Thanks for waiting.