The me I don't like

| 1 Comment

As I mentioned before, I'm starting to think about my goals for 2010. Part of that is thinking about the person I want to be, the traits I want to cultivate in myself. I have a pretty good handle on the parts of myself I like and want to see more of--my generosity, my curiosity, my love of animals. I recognize the person I am when I like myself, and I'm proud of that person.

The harder question, for me, is what don't I like about myself? What characteristics do I want to erase, or at least minimize?

The first thing that comes to mind is that I lack self-control. I have a hard time denying myself things, or forcing myself to do things that I don't want to do. I don't have a ton of respect for self-control for its own sake, but I do recognize that there are times in ones life where self-control is a very valuable characteristic, and it's one I'd be smart to cultivate.

The next thing that occurs to me is that I'm not patient. Again, I'm not 100% sure patience is quite the virtue it's cracked up to be, but I do know that people who are honestly patient seem to be happier. I also know that my life in the next few years is going to require patience beyond what I have--I don't like it here, I'm anxious to move on, and it's going to be several years before that happens. Hence, cultivate patience.

The third thing is one I have been working on for years, but it continues to plague me. I have a short temper, and am occasionally thrown into a rage that, while not violent, is curse-filled and nasty. It's an immature and ridiculous thing for a 30 year old woman to throw tantrums, and while I don't do it as much as I used to, I still do it. I'm a work in progress there.

Finally, I hate how often I don't stick with things. It is one thing to try something, realize it doesn't work for you, and move on. I'm fine with that. But I try something, realize it does work but it's difficult or inconvenient, and make an excuse to let it drop. I really dislike that about myself. I have a drawer full of journals with three entries each in them, bins of craft supplies for hobbies I learned and then discarded, and so on. I don't want to be a person who quits on things just because they aren't convenient.

So, as I continue brainstorming my goals for 2010, I'm going to keep in mind not just the good things about myself, which I want to strengthen, but also these things, the sad-but-true things, that I want to downplay. If you've got any ideas on how to do that, please do comment.


This is very interesting. My goals tend to focus on tangible improvements, or increasing already-positive attributes. I left room for some extra goals, and I think changing a few negative habits would be a good idea.

I'm not sure how to do that successfully. I grade goals on a points system - last year out of 100, next year out of 1000. I'm not sure how I could assign points to correcting flaws in personality - other than perhaps having an independent arbiter.

Leave a comment

April 2012

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30          

Follow Me on Pinterest