Not unwound

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Logging job

I am in beautiful rural Oregon, at my parents' house. With the exception of one-probably brief-conference call tomorrow, I have no work obligations. I have no real social obligations. I could, probably, turn off my computer now and not have any pressing reason to turn it back on for the rest of the week.

This is the time I've been desperately needing to unwind. I've been traveling and working two jobs for months and I'm a tense, paranoid, ball of stress. I'm not eating right, exercising, or sleeping well. I'm irritable, panicky, and burst into tears easily. Life isn't bad--it's just busier than I can apparently handle.

And yet, I'm not unwound. I have the constant feeling that I should be doing something and I'm not. I'm still not sleeping well or eating right. My stomach is giving me a lot of problems. Last night, I had mystery hives. I'm worried all the time that there is someone I should be seeing, some obligation I haven't met.

My hope is that a couple more days of enforced down time (and less online time, which I've been pretty good about since we got here on Friday) will mediate whatever switch in my head is stuck on overdrive. By the time I head home, I really want to feel centered and competent again. This place, I know, is pure peace. I just have to figure out how to let it in.


:( This might sound dumb but its true in my case. Could the changing of seasons be having a bit of an effect? I am so weepy right now, some of its my stressed out hubby, some of its hormones, some of its friends moving, some of its not eating right, and some of it is its just starting to act like fall here. Infact I could cry right now. Why? Good question.

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April 2012

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