First, the inevitable update: baby is not yet born. Baby is now officially late. Baby is making me INSANE. But all is well, no signs of any distress, and s/he will either get here before July 7 of her own volition or be forced out on that date.
But that's not what this post is about. Rather, it's a warning or update or something. At the request of Buzzy's other parent, his/her picture will not be shared on this blog. Neither will his/her name. This isn't something I'd previously considered, but M feels strongly about preserving this baby's Internet privacy, to the degree that's possible, and having identifying information shared on Mama's very public blog isn't gonna do that.
I am of mixed emotions about it. On one hand, I want to tell you all about this amazing journey that we're going to be going on, and I feel a little bit hamstrung about doing that without a name and a face to go along with it. But M's point is a good one--when I made the decision to be public online, to use my real name and not a pseudonym, that was a decision that, as an adult, have a right to make. It's not the same one M would make (he's pretty well anonymous online, other than the places where I've outed him), and it's not one that I really have a right to foist on our kid, either. So, for the purposes of WINOW, Buzzy will remain Buzzy. I will tell you what sex s/he turns out to be, but that's probably all of the information you're going to get.
This discussion with M brought up a lot of larger issues that I probably haven't given as much thought to as I ought. What is the reasonable expectation of Internet privacy for a baby? A child? How much does one parent have a right to expect from the other, if one of them is a public online person, like me, and the other a private one, like M? This is, I guess, the first real parenting disagreement we've had, and it's an interesting one to start with. Once it became clear we were starting from really different places (I really didn't, and still don't, see the harm in sharing a name and picture--it's embarrassing stories where I draw the line), M and I hashed out the rules for every online forum in which I participate. Due to the public and searchable nature of it, things will be the least open here on WINOW. It would be M's preference for me not to discuss Buzzy here at all, even with a fake name and no picture, but I didn't think that was very reasonable. The no-name, no-photo thing is, I guess, our first parenting compromise.
Tell me about your experiences with this, readers who have kids? Did you and your partner have to negotiate about it, or were you on the same page to begin with? Are you happy with how you've done things, or would you do it differently if you had it to do over again?