Letter to Buzzy #4: How's my driving?

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Dear Buzzy,

We have got to decide on a new blog name for you. Buzzy just doesn't work at all with who you are shaping up to be. Maybe I should use one of our real life nicknames. Do you prefer Porkins, Squish, or Big Chief Little Weasel? Your Grandma Penny calls you Puppy; I suppose we could use that.

You're three months old, so I'm finally getting around to writing your two-month letter. Looks like this may be a project on which I am perpetually behind. Since your third month is almost up, I can barely remember what I wanted to write that was second-month specific. Let's see...

Your second month was August, and it was pretty warm. You spent most of it with me, at home, in just a onesie and a diaper. We watched a LOT of TV--House, The Tudors, The United States of Tara, Weeds, and Rescue Me. We went for walks with Daddy and Ata. One day, we got caught out in a downpour and were all soaked by the time we got home, which you seemed to enjoy. We realized, sometime this month, what a big little boy we had, and the doctor confirmed this at your two-month visit, when you weighed in at 15 lbs. 3 oz. and were 25" long--both in or above the 95th percentile for size.

We got a baby swing during your second month, and you took to it right away. Many days, you napped for hours in it, which made being home with you all day and attempting to look for a job quite a bit easier for me. You also just got to be more fun to hang out with--more smiling, grunting, flailing, and sleeping, not quite so much eating and pooping. We settled into a routine, and I started feeling a little bit less like a mommy imposter and more like I might, someday, figure out what I'm doing.

Towards the end of your second month, I started taking you places. Mostly, we went shopping--we didn't buy much, beyond groceries and stuff, but we went to lots of stores. At first, I put your car seat directly into the shopping cart, and then we got a stroller caddy for the car seat--much easier! You were really good in stores right from the beginning, often sleeping through whole shopping trips and almost never crying.

These early shopping trips were probably a bigger learning experience for me than for you. Not only did I have to learn how to manage you outside our safe house (not as hard as I'd expected), I also had to come to terms with being a mom in public. This feels a whole lot like wearing one of those signs that trucks sometimes have on their back ends--"How's my driving? Call..." Everybody has opinions and judgments for parents, especially moms, especially new moms, and even when people aren't judging, it feels like they are. It's really hard not to feel like you are doing everything wrong. I'd glance around nervously if you made the slightest peep, afraid you were disturbing somebody and they were going to yell at me, or at least glare. Were they clucking at your pacifier? At me using a stroller rather than a sling? At your clothes? Luckily, this stage didn't last too long, and after a half dozen trips I stopped worrying quite so much. I don't think I started actually being comfortable until Month 3 (which I will try very, very hard to write about sooner rather than later), but by the end of the month I was closer.

I think it was sometime during the second month that I started to realize that you are an exceptionally mellow and "easy" baby. You eat well, you sleep well, and you very rarely cry for no reason. You don't even fuss much. I was warned of a bad spell at the 8-10 week mark, but you didn't have one. Sure, you have an occasional more trying day (or night), but in general you're an absolute joy to have around. I really, really like being your mom.

Love,

Mama

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