Notes on the return to work

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Things that are easier than I expected about returning to work:

  1. Figuring out what to wear.
  2. Feeling like my kid is being well taken care of in day care.
  3. Pumping.

Things that are harder than I expected about returning to work:

  1. Having to talk to people all day.
  2. Only spending an hour or so a day with my baby.
  3. Making my brain focus on one task at a time.
  4. The tightness of the get the schedule.
  5. Figuring out when the hell I am going to do all the things I was doing during the day while I was home.

Intellectually, I know that all of my current angst is completely typical newly back-to-work mom stuff. I feel like I'm missing out on the baby's life and not seeing him enough. I feel like there are no hours of my day that aren't spoken for. I feel like I'm divided at all times, with half my brain in my cube and half wondering how the baby is, what he's doing, etc. I feel constantly breathless and just on the verge of panic. I'm told this will all get easier as time passes, and I absolutely believe it will, but, like much of the rest of this first-year-of-motherhood roller coaster, the meantime is pretty overwhelming.

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"I feel like there are no hours of my day that aren't spoken for."


As they get older, you get more time with them when they're awake, which is good because they are doing more of a variety of things then. But then they don't go to bed... and by the time they do, you're ready for bed yourself... and the whole thing starts over again at 6:45am.

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April 2013

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