And so it begins. The truth is that the only way I am going to get myself out of debt is to stop fucking shopping. Just stop. Completely, at least for a while. And as the season of Lent is upon us (though I am starting a day early), the next 40 days seems as good a time as any. So that's the goal--no shopping for 40 days (aside from grocery shopping). And that makes today Day 1.

Day 2 of not shopping is going fine. I'm at work. I spent lunchtime at Ash Wednesday services at the campus Episcopalian church, and I think the service really helped to center me and get me thinking in the right direction about why it is so important for me to stop this reckless shopping. The bit from Matthew that is included in the Ash Wednesday service, warning against accumulating goods that can be moth-eaten or rust, but instead accumulating treasure in your heart, spoke to me today. It has before, I know, but given that I am starting this particular journey, it was especially loud today.

So it's the beginning of Lent. I am committed to not shopping until Easter. I am around $8,000 in debt and it is time for things to change.

The good news is that the weather has taken a turn for the beautiful. It is supposed to be 80 degrees today.

The bad news is that I have very close to no clothes that fit and absolutely no acceptable shoes for warm weather. I've gained 30ish lbs since this time last year, and threw out a bunch of old summer shoes at the end of last summer. But, until after Easter, I'm just going to have to live with what I've got.

This is not going to be easy.

One common thread among the debt-buster bloggers I've started to read is that they come clean on their blogs not just about being in debt, but about exactly how much debt they are in, when they make what payments, etc. I've thought a bit about whether I wanted to do that here, and felt very uncomfortable with the idea. Thinking about it further, I realized that the reason I felt so uncomfortable about it was (a) because I am embarrassed by my financial picture and have been lying about it to myself and others for a long time and (b) because I was brought up, like most people in this country, to think that talking about money was crass, particularly if you actually use numbers.

Well, fuck both those reasons. This is about accountability and changing my behavior, and the first step is definitely coming clean. As far as it being crass to talk about money, that seems almost laughable given the level of conspicuous consumption surrounding me and perpetuated by me every day. So I'm going to publish the numbers.

As of today, my financial picture is as follows:

Total credit card debt: $8,093.16
Total student loan debt: $33,674.75
Total savings: $163.77
Checking account balance: $11.69

My current post-tax income is approximately $2,868.97 per month, but should be going up slightly in the near future. I contribute $1,700 to our joint account each month. My personal monthly bills are as follows:

Audible subscription: $22.95
Cell phone bill: $48.57
Student loan payment: $257.03

That leave me with approximately $840 per month that is currently unaccounted for. That money has to go towards that ridiculous credit card debt and low savings balance. My plan, as I conceptualize it today, is to put $600 per month towards these goals--$500 to the credit card, $100 to the savings account (after I build up a month of extra money in my checking account from my no-spending Lent so that my checking account balance will stop going down to near zero every month). That will leave me with about $240 per month to spend. Part of this will certainly go to non-regular but necessary expenses, such as prescriptions and doctor's visits. The rest will be my spending money.

Finally, I am expecting a tax refund of about $1,800 in mid-March. That money will go to pay down the credit cards, period. No taking some out for fun money--I've already had too much fun. Also, if/when I get my expected raise, any difference between my current salary and my future one will go directly to the credit card debt.

'So that's what I'm working with. It feels good to have written it out, for some reason. More manageable. I've always been a person who has to write things down in order for them to be true, so I guess that's not surprising. I have a lot of work ahead of me.

I had really hoped I'd get more than four days into not shopping before I started a list of stuff I want to buy, but I am who I am, and so the list begins. It will probably get long.

Things I'd buy if I weren't not shopping:

1. Obama merch. My favorites are this sticker, this one, and this one. But I have to admit there is some small part of me that would love to display this one somewhere on my person.

2. Spring shoes. I really, really want spring shoes. Something cute and flat. And some sandals. I'm digging the Earth Echelon and Allure, the Dunham Juniper Mary Jane, and these incredibly cute New Balance yoga shoes (think I could pull those off with skirts?). I also really like these Red Wing Cosmos flats. For sandals, I'm tempted by a number of the Clarks styles, especially the Twill, but what I want more than anything is just some really nice, comfy flip flops, like these by Columbia or these by Simple.

I'd also love to get some boots for next year when they go on sale...

3. The Windowshoppist is giving me all sorts of stuff lust. In particular, I am nutso about the retro print laptop covers by Nanda (particularly the Stella green) and the truly fabulous Broken Plate Pendant Company jewelry. I'd have a hard time choosing just one, but right this moment I am lusting over the Peacock Broken Plate Pendant.

I am not going to bore you with the various and sundry ways in which I sucked this weekend, nor with beating myself up about it. I shopped, I didn't go to church, Mark and I fought, it was bad. However, it is back to being not bad now, and so forward we will go.

On a happy note, both Oliver and Edie are now on trial adoptions with their new families, who seem in both cases to be well-suited for them and happy to have them. This is great for them, and good for us, as well, as we need a little bit of less stressful non-fostering down time to get our collective shit together.

Dear Dumbass,

When you don't pay any attention to your checking account balance, you overdraw. Duh. Get on it.

Love,

Yourself

Several times, I have been advised that the way one is happiest in one's job is to try to make money doing something you love to do anyway. I've steadily ignored this advice, since the one time I tried to make money doing what I loved (writing for a newspaper, in this case), it was disastrous. I ended up not loving it anymore, and it hasn't been worth it to me to try again, since I'm not willing to lose anymore passions.

Until now.

Another piece of advice I've gotten more than once is that I should become a personal shopper, since I love to shop, especially for other people, and can often find good deals on things and spot cool things other people miss. This advice has also been met with resistance, as I've said that anyone who can afford to employ a personal shopper is going to want to shop for things that are beyond my interest and shop at stores I'm not comfortable setting foot in. Nobody, I've said numerous times, wants a personal thrift shopper.

Except maybe they do, because that is what a lot of Ebay is--personal thrift shoppers. People who buy things at thrift stores and garage sales and resell them for a profit on Ebay. I knew this before, of course, but never did it myself, because I could never figure out how buying something for $5 at the Goodwill and selling it for $7 on Ebay would be worth the time.

And then last week I discovered the Goodwill bins, where all items of clothing are $1.25. Buy something for $1.25 and sell it for $7 and there might just be enough profit in it to make it worthwhile. And so I set out, for only the second time, trying to make a profit doing something I love...

I've opened an Ebay store, Your Personal Thrift Shopper. Right now, it's very heavy on clothes for babies and toddlers, because that's what I've had the best luck with finding at the bins, and because I've gotten a lot of wonderful advice on what brands, etc. are good for resale in that department. However, I'm keeping statistics of how much I put into things and what they sell for, and I'll be trying to tailor my thrifting (and therefore inventory) to meet whatever is in demand. That being said, if you have a size or item you'd like me to keep my eye out for, just drop me an email.

I'm sure, given discussions I've had here and elsewhere before, that there is going to be some flak headed my way for trying to profit off thrift shopping. It has been suggested to me that someone in my income bracket is somehow "cheating" by even shopping at thrift stores, much less buying low there with the intention of selling high(er). I've got to tell you, though, I've given it a lot of thought, and I see nothing to feel bad about. The stores in my area are stocked to the gills--there is no shortage of stuff to thrift. And the bins is the last stop pre-dumpster for most of this stuff, so buying it, even to resell, is keeping it out of a landfill, which I'm all for. Also, if it doesn't sell, and some of it surely won't, I'll either give it away or give it back to the Goodwill, so it's not like now that I'm selling things I'm going to stop giving. When someone buys something off Ebay that they could have thrifted themselves, what they are paying for is the time and effort it took the person who found, listed, and sold that item to do so. And I think that's a skill worth paying for. My time has value, and if this can draw that value out of the time I spend thrifting, then I don't think that hurts anybody. Much--even most--of what we pay others to do is stuff we could do ourselves, or could learn to do ourselves, and I don't see how this is any different. Just like anything else, thrifting can be a service.

So, if you are in the market for thrifted stuff, without having to dig through the piles yourself, keep an eye on my store. The stock should change often, as I thrift often, and as I said before, I'm happy to do what I can to fill special requests, just let me know.

Well, I'm a week in, and my first bunch of auctions have ended. Results thus far have been semi-disappointing. It's doable, I can make money at it, but it's a lot of effort for a little bit of cash so far. However, I know at least ten times as much about what will sell and how to sell it than I did at this time last week, so I'm guessing my next bunch of auctions will do better. And even if the profit margin is smaller than I'd like, it seems pretty clear that I can consistently make SOME money at it. And in the credit card pay off race, every little bit helps.

Which brings me to my other update.

On February 22, I posted the following:

Total credit card debt: $8,093.16
Total student loan debt: $33,674.75
Total savings: $163.77
Checking account balance: $11.69

Right now, I'm here:

Total credit card debt: $6,130.13 (though $600 is Mark's and will be paid from him ASAP)
Total student loan debt: $33,517.92
Total savings: $100.00
Checking account balance: $200.24

The other change is that my raise went through, so my monthly take home has moved from about $2,868.97 to $2,969.04. So...progress, albeit not quite as much as I'd hoped.

So last month these were the numbers:
Total credit card debt: $6,130.13
Total student loan debt: $33,517.92
Total savings: $100.00
Checking account balance: $200.24

And this month?
Total credit card debt: $7,111.47
Total student loan debt: $33,341.29
Total savings: $200.00
Checking account balance: $138.46

You'll see I headed in the wrong direction. I know--major suck. All I have to say for myself is that I bought two plane tickets and a pass for BlogHer. And it was a bad month (I also overdrew my checking account...). But I'm back on track and things will be better next month.

So I am trying (with limited success, but trying) not to spend unnecessary money this month. Getting out of CC debt and all that blah blah blah. Which means, of course, that I keep seeing things that I just. have. to. have. So once again I'm gonna make a list of them rather than buying them. My birthday is August 28, if anybody was wondering.

1. Hathor Legacy tank. Love the site, love the shirt, would love to build collection of shirts from my favorite blogs (to go with my Fussy t-shirt).

2. Pearl River Melamine Lunch Box. It's so cute! With so many nice compartments! And not plastic! And I am trying so hard to bring my lunch to work more often! I need it, clearly.

3. Title 9 Universal Shorts. I am making do with the shorts I have for the gym, but they are all men's shorts and not the best fitting things in the world. It would be so lovely to have some that were actually made for the body I have.

4. Superhero Necklace. In truth, I already have a Superhero Necklace--the "Grass and Sky" one. And I wear it at least once a week and probably more. And I am greedy and want another one. Preferably the "Earth" one or the "Joy" one.

5. Red Wing Olivia shoes. Again, I already have some of these, in "Sunglow," but I love them so much I want some black ones as well.

I could go on and on. But I won't. Glad I have that out of my system.

Or...not. I'm just going to keep adding to this thread. It will make me feel better. More stuff I want:

6. Burning River Roller Girls tank top. My best friend is a member of this roller league (go Eva Lucien!), and I have one of their t-shirts, but I'd really love a tank.

I will attempt a real post-vacation entry tomorrow, when my head is on more straight, but today I'm just doing the financial update thing because I am doing my bills. I'm unthrilled. I don't want to talk about it.

Last month's numbers:
Total credit card debt: $7,111.47
Total student loan debt: $33,341.29
Total savings: $200.00
Checking account balance: $138.46

And today:
Total credit card debt: $7,244.00
Total student loan debt: $33,188.70
Total savings: $400.00
Checking account balance: $364.80

Back on track!

Last month:
Total credit card debt: $7,244.00
Total student loan debt: $33,188.70
Total savings: $400.00
Checking account balance: $364.80

Today:
Total credit card debt: $6,677.41
Total student loan debt: $33,022.93
Total savings: $500.00
Checking account balance: $403.36

I had a conversation (a couple of them, actually) at BlogHer about my comfort with blogging about my finances, and why I think it's important. In the course of this topic, it was pointed out to me that although I blog about my savings/debt, I have never given my income on the blog. I thought this had to be mistaken--after all, why wouldn't I have? But I just went and looked around, and apparently I haven't.

So, without further ado:

I currently make $49,920/year. I started in my current position at $48,000 and got a 3% raise about six months ago. As of September 1, I get an 8% raise, which will put me at $53,914/year. I have been at my job for 15 months. Salary.com puts the base salary range for my job title in my zip code at $49,039 at the 25th percentile and $71,312 at the 75th, so I'd say that with my current level of experience, I'm doing just about right.

Last month:
Total credit card debt: $6,677.41
Total student loan debt: $33,022.93
Total savings: $500.00
Checking account balance: $403.36

Today:
Total credit card debt: $6,078.91
Total student loan debt: $33,022.93
Total savings: $600.00
Checking account balance: $203.74

So everything is moving in the right direction. I now need to contribute several hundred dollars a month more than I was previously to our joint budget, so my debt repayment is going to be slowed a bit, but I'm also going to start seeing bigger paychecks starting October 1, so I think it will all work itself out OK.

Last month:
Total credit card debt: $6,078.91
Total student loan debt: $33,022.93
Total savings: $600.00
Checking account balance: $203.74

Today:
Total credit card debt: $6,389.75
Total student loan debt: $33,159.21
Total savings:$700.00
Checking account balance: $467.60

Looks bad, I know, but I'm contributing more to the joint now, plus I had to resume my student loan payments this month, plus I had to buy a plane ticket. And yes, those are pretty much excuses. My raise kicks in next month, so hopefully I'll be back on track then.

Gonna have to try harder...

Last month:
Total credit card debt: $6,389.75
Total student loan debt: $33,159.21
Total savings:$700.00
Checking account balance: $467.60

This month:
Total credit card debt: $6,495.21
Total student loan debt: $32,990.42
Total savings:$650.00
Checking account balance: $361.62

On a higher note, my CC debt is down almost $1,600 from when I started last February. I was certainly hoping for more progress than that, but I've had some setbacks and if I get back on track I think I can still make my goal to be completely CC debt free by the time we leave Austin.

So for several months now, I've been posting a financial update every month like a good little girl, noting my successes and (more often) failures.

But I haven't really been trying. See, the card(s) were still in my wallet, and I was still actively using one of them. I was still buying more than I had cash for, not sticking to any sort of budget, etc. And that, more than any of the catastrophes I've been looking at recently, was why the numbers weren't going down.

Which is why October's numbers will show lower savings and higher debt than September's did, once again, even though I got a raise.

And it's gotta stop, or I am never going to get out of debt or reach any of my goals.

So.

I got another new 0% interest card and initiated transfers from the two cards I have with balances. Once those go through, I'll cancel the old cards. Then I will have exactly two credit cards--the one with the big balance being paid off, and the one connected to my bank accounts for overdraft protection. They'll both not be in my wallet, and neither one of them will have a number that is already pre-programmed into everywhere I like to shop. And then I pay, and I buy only what I can afford with the cash that is actually in my checking account each month. And I try in earnest to be a responsible financial citizen.

It's so long past time. This is so embarrassing, not just to not have a handle on it, but to have been pretending to really try and to have a handle on it for these past months. I can be such a spoiled baby.

Oh, and another financial thing I need to do in order to get myself back into a healthy place is to resume my monthly giving campaign on the blog. I suspended it several months ago, and I can't even quite remember why now, and I have been resenting myself for it ever since. So, for the month of October, I'm giving to Basic Rights Oregon. Basic Rights Oregon is a group dedicated to "ending discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in Oregon," and right now they are fighting for a comprehensive domestic partnership law in Oregon.

That's them on the right, if your giving dollars are still burning a hole in your pocket this month.

Last month:
Total credit card debt: $6,495.21
Total student loan debt: $32,990.42
Total savings:$650.00
Checking account balance: $361.62
Total: -$38,474.01

This month:
Total credit card debt: $6,710.72
Total student loan debt: $$32,831.73
Total savings: $358.78
Checking account balance: $522.97
Total: -$38,660.70

So basically, I suck. But I'm turning over a new leaf--I swear. I'm not paying much on the CC this month, because of Christmas travel and how expensive that's all going to be, but I'm not spending, either.

One step forward, two steps back...

OK, so a list of Cyber Monday sales. I know there are people doing this all over the Internet, but I thought I'd get my $.02 in anyway.

• Jockey: 25% off with coupon code 25TURKEY. Expires 11/28/07.


• Coldwater Creek: $30 off orders of $100 or more with coupon code GIFT30. Also 25% off all jackets, ends Monday night.


• Gaiam: 15% off with coupon code AP2A. Sale ends 11/26/07.


• Lush: Several small sales. Use coupon code GREENGOODIE01 to get a free "green" item with your order of $65 or more including a wrapped gift; STUFFIT01 for a buy four get one free sale on bath bombs; STUFFIT02 for the same sale on bubble bars, and free shipping for all orders over $99, no code required.


• Shoes.com: Code CYBERMONDAY for 20% off your entire order.


• Overstock: Free shipping on everything, plus get $20 cash back when you spend $100 or more using Paypal.


• Target: Spend $50 and get $5 off and free shipping, expires 12/1/07.


• Fabulous Footwear: Buy one, get one 1/2 off, plus free shipping, plus 10% off your entire order with coupon code CYBER2007. Today only.


• Potato Face: Spend $25 and get any pair of earrings for free--today only.


• Claudia's Creations: 20% off entire purchase, today only--put "20off" in notes and wait for revised invoice before paying.


• A Punkin Card Company: 20% off everything, today only. No promo code needed, just wait for a revised invoice.


• Sweet Spice: Entire shop 50% off until 5pm EST! Put "CMS" in note to seller and wait for revised invoice.


• Sierra Trading Post: At least 50% off everything on the site, plus free shipping for orders over $75. Ends 11/27.

So I'm not posting a financial update for November. Or December. And here's why:

I love Christmas. And one of the things I love the most about it is buying gifts for people. I honest-to-God prefer giving to receiving. Christmas shopping (which I spent a good deal of the day at today) is fun for me.

But when I'm trying to count pennies and worry about my debt-payoff goals, it's not fun. It's a depressing chore.

So I'm suspending the whole deal until January 1. After January 1, I know I'm going to have to dedicate myself much more seriously to paying down that debt. But until then, I am not going to worry about it, and I'm not going to keep track of it, any more than enough to not overdraw my checking account.

Before anyone says anything, I know that this is an irresponsible, privileged, and not very wise position for me to take. I know it's going to set be back. I know I'll be crying about it in January. And you can go ahead and post all of those things if it will make you feel good. But it won't likely change anything. I'm young, have fairly few fiscal responsibilities (i.e. no kids), and am going to enjoy my Christmas gift giving as much as I can for as long as I can. If that makes me a worse or weaker person, so be it.

I know I am posting far too much recently about Allie and her blogs Wardrobe Oxygen and My Wardrobe Today, but she's got another great post up that I have to point you towards. At Wardrobe Oxygen, she takes up the question of what the style-conscious should do with their magic economy-stimulating tax rebates, suggesting debt pay-off, charitable contributions, or environmentally friendly upgrades, rather than new purses or shoes. She's a recovered shopaholic, she says, and points out:

It’s amazing what reduced or no debt can do for a woman – her skin is radiant from a good night’s sleep, she has better posture, a beautiful engaging smile for all. She cheerily answers her phone on the first ring instead of checking Caller ID for collectors, and she looks forward to the mail every day because it may bring a favorite periodical or card from a friend, not a Second Notice or Past Due statement.

I love Allie for writing this. God bless her for being someone who writes mostly about clothes and cosmetics but is still both willing and able to practice and advocate fiscal responsibility. Since both climbing out of debt/learning to live within my means and bettering my style are goals for me this year, she is definitely a good influence.

And for what it's worth, my tax rebate is going towards my credit cards.

I've been meaning to post about this:

I am making a concerted effort to bring my lunch to work and not buy lunch when I'm here, and I've been doing really well. One thing that helps is to have an emergency stash of canned soup for days when I forget. However, I hate most canned soup, as it is salty and nasty. But Amy's Kitchen makes some pretty good lentil soup, so I usually use that.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, Amy's soup was on sale at the co-op and I picked up some more varieties to have around. One of these was potato leek. I like potato leek soup a lot, so I was jazzed to see it. Then, on a Friday, with the rest of my at-work soup supply gone, I popped open the potato leek.

It was so incredibly gross. It both looked and tasted like paste. It was gray, lumpy, and completely inedible. So I wrote an email to Amy's, telling them how bad it was and how disappointed I was, particularly since I usually enjoy their products.

Someone wrote me back. Not in three to six weeks, or even three to six day, but in a couple of hours. She said that they are aware of the problem with the potato leek soup (it doesn't hold up once it is in the cans) and are pulling it from the market. She also asked for my mailing address to send me some coupons for my trouble.

So I expected that I'd receive coupons for a couple of free cans of soup in several weeks.

Well, once again, they surprised me. By the following Wednesday (bad soup was on Friday) there was an envelope in my mailbox that contained EIGHT coupons, each for a free Amy's product. Any Amy's product. Not just soup, which I buy at the co-op for less than $2 per can, but frozen pizzas (which cost $6 or more each) or anything else. So, basically, the sent me $48 worth of coupons.

That is customer service about which I cannot complain. My complaint was addressed quickly, I was treated very courteously, and the company made it right. I will definitely remain a supporter of Amy's, and thought it only right to share the experience with you as well.

Like most people, I'd expect, I have a lot of plans for my stimulus check. I may think giving them out is a crappy idea, but since I'm going to get one, I have lots of ideas on how to spend it. Clearly, what I should do with it is not even consider other options and just pay debt. But I need new shoes! And something off my Etsy favorites! And some summer clothes!

Or, I could give it away.

There was a piece on Marketplace on Friday about why it might be best to consider giving all or part of your stimulus check to charity. You can listen to it below, but basically the upshot is that charitable organizations are suffering right now just like everyone else, and there are those (myself included) who believe that the money these checks represent may well have been better spent bolstering social services. So, if you think like that too, maybe we should both put our money where our mouth is and give some of our stimulus checks to charity?

The question then becomes, of course, which charity? The piece on NPR mentions food banks in specific, and that makes sense. I have a couple of weeks until my deposit is supposed to show up, so I'll be thinking about it.

I am going to do math on my blog today. This will likely never happen again, so feel special.

Everybody knows gas is expensive, and that driving in general is often not the cheapest means of transport. There is a great blog post here, though, that tells you how to figure out just how expensive driving is for you. It's an exercise worth going through, so I'm going to do it here.

As the linked post mentions, I am only going to count gas, maintenance, tires, and depreciation in my calculation of per-mile costs, considering insurance, taxes, license and registration, and finance charges as costs of owning a vehicle, whether I drive it or not. I'm doing it this way on the assumption that having a car is necessary, but a lot of trips I make in it aren't.

My beginning numbers:
Our car is a 2006 Honda Element. It gets about 20 mpg in the city, where most of our driving takes place. We put about 7,000 miles a year on it. Current Blue Book Value is $17,225.

Step 1: Calculate depreciation.
$17,225 (current value) - $16,530 (estimated value with 7,000 more miles) / 7,000 (annula mileage = $.10/mile depreciation

Step 2: Calculate gas cost.
Gas here is currently an average of $3.79/gallon. We get about 20 mpg. That means gas costs for us are about $0.19/mile.

Step 3: Calculate maintenance and tires.
Here I am using AAA estimates of 4.67 cents per mile for maintenance and and .85 cents per mile for tires.

Step 4: Add it up.
$0.10/mile depreciation + $0.19/mile gas + $0.05 mile/maintenance + $0.01/mile tires = $0.35/mile total cost of driving.

So what does that mean? How much does it cost me to make non-necessary trips? Here are some examples:

Commute: Our daily commute is 7.2 miles each way, or 14.4 miles round trip (not including parking garage time). That's $5.04 a day commuting cost, or $25.20/week.

Target: If I go to the nearby Target from my house, it's 1.8 miles each way, 3.24 round trip. That's a $1.13 trip.

Goodwill: If I go the the bins from my house, it's 6.5 miles each way, or 13 miles total. $4.55 each trip. If I go to the other location from work, it's 4.7 miles each way (again not including parking garage), 9.4 total, for a $3.29 trip.

Well. That was an eye-opener.