All the federales say
We could have had him any day
We only let him slip away
Out of kindness I suppose
-"Pancho and Lefty"

I am so fucking thrilled. I have discovered that I can download all my mom's old-time country music from Kazaa and listen to it. It's making me homesick in a bittersweet way, but it's nice. It's really nice. I hear this stuff and I'm home again and I know exactly who I am. Nothing to reconcile, nothing to worry about. Just a small town Western girl.

Which is totally untrue, of course, but it's still nice to be in that place for awhile.

Another brilliant idea of the day? Buy Chance stuffed animals to play with from the Goodwill. They are cheap enough that way that I won't freak out when he rips them up. Hopefully Mark won't either. I can't believe how uptight Mark is about the damn dog. We're in the opposite roles I expected. That's probably good.

Oooh, I love this song!

Why is it that no matter what time I get here on Wednesday, there's never any place to fucking park? I always have to park illegally in the library lot during my first class. Makes me crazy.

Susan and I went to see Ani last night. She was good. I've seen her better, but she was good. Very mellow, just her and her guitar. I think I liked her best with just Andy, or maybe with Andy and Sara Lee. I certainly like her better by herself than with the full horn section and all that crap, but she loses a bit by not having a rthymn section.

Someday, I will learn to spell rythme. Rythmn. Was that right?

Anyway, I think Susan enjoyed the show and I was really happy she came. I had been worried for days that she wouldn't like it, and with the tickets being so spendy, etc., I was going to feel terrible if she didn't. She did though, so all is well.

I honestly don't understand how anybody could not like Ani, but I'm biased.

I really don't want to be at school today. Wednesday is always like this.

Next semester's class schedule is up, so I'm trying to figure out what to take. There are several interesting sounding seminars. Maybe I should email some professors...I have one extra space in my schedule, so I can take something fun, rather than a core course (because I didn't take AQA last semester). I'll pay for it by having to take PE II and AQA II next year, but whatever. Spread that nasty shit out. :)

I'd like to take something in the women's studies department. I keep thinking about joint degrees...but then I realize that I have already bitten off more than I could possibly chew and really I should just leave well enough alone.

I have a lot to do, school-wise. I should probably be stressed about it, but I'm really not. I am too freaking tired to be stressed right now. I have no idea why, but I'm exhausted.

I think changing my work week so that school and work are seperate (school Mon-Wed, work Thurs-Fri, weekend Sat-Sun) will help. I hope so...

And we'll gather all our arms can carry,
I have lost to February.
Dar Williams, "February"

february stars
floating in the dark
temporary scars
february stars
Foo Fighters, "February Stars"

You said that this is crazy, you're a half a world away
Well I'm sitting and I'm thinking but I didn't know what to say
So I said something I can't touch, I always want way too much
Anyway
Goo Goo Dolls, "Two Days in February"

But February made me shiver
with every paper I'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more step
Don McLean, "American Pie"

Shall we remember
December instead
Or worry about February
Mourn our war-torn dead
Never seeing red
Pet Shop Boys, "My October Symphony"

Gee, do you see a pattern?

By no means a complete listing, just a few to think about.

It won't rain all the time
The sky won't fall forever
And though the night seems long
your tears won't fall forever
Jane Siberry, "It Can't Rain All The Time"

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through
Skid Row, "I Remember You"

well there is no time there is only this rain
there is no time, that's why I missed my plane
Greg Brown, "Two Little Feet"

There's rain down in the alleys
Rain down in the street
It was raining when we parted
It'll rain next time we meet
And I must, I must be in Oregon.
I know I must be, I must be in Oregon.
Greg Brown, "I Must Be In Oregon"

Buckets of rain
Buckets of tears
Got all them buckets comin' out of my ears.
Buckets of moonbeams in my hand,
I got all the love, honey baby,
You can stand.
Bob Dylan, "Buckets of Rain"

If I wait for cloudy skies
You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes
You'll never know that I still love you
So though the heartaches remain
I'll do my crying in the rain
A Ha, "Crying in the Rain"

And she laughed
And she cried
She damn near died
On the day it rained forever
Eurythmics, "The Day It Rained Forever"

This old airport's got me down it ain't no earthy good to me
Because I'm stuck here on the ground, cold and drunk as I can be
You can't hop a jet plane like you can a railroad train
So I'd best be on my way in the early morning rain
Bob Dylan, "Early Morning Rain"

I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again.
James Taylor, "Fire and Rain"

I'm walking, I keep on walking down the street
I'm watching, I keep on searching every place I've been
I love her and now I've lost her, and love's in vain.
I watch her funeral in the rain
Chris Isaak, "Funeral In The Rain"

Someone told me long ago There's a calm before the storm,
I know; It's been comin' for some time.
When it's over, so they say, It'll rain a sunny day,
I know; Shinin' down like water.
Credence Clearwater Revival, "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?"

Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you
Eurythmics, "Here Comes The Rain Again"

Broken windows and empty hallways
A pale dead moon in the sky streaked with gray
Human kindness is overflowing
And I think it's going to rain today
Randy Newman, "I Think It's Gonna Rain Today"

I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains
You know I love it when the news is bad
Why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains
Garbage, "I'm Only Happy When It Rains"

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.
Simon and Garfunkel, "Kathy's Song"

Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waitin' for a train,
Feeling nearly faded as my jeans,
Bobby flagged a diesel down, just before it rained,
Took us all the way to New Orleans.
Kris Kristofferson, "Me and Bobby McGee"

I never meant 2 cause u any sorrow
I never meant 2 cause u any pain
I only wanted 2 one time see u laughing
I only wanted 2 see u laughing in the purple rain
Prince, "Purple Rain"

It was the night Rod Stewart played
And we were, were standing in the pouring rain
If I had known it was the last time I would see you again...
I would change everything...
Alanis Morrisette, "Rain"

These train conversations are passing me by
And I don't have nothing to say
You get what you pay for
But I just had no intention of living this way

And I get no answers
And I don't get no change
It's raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same
Counting Crows, "Raining in Baltimore"

These are the seasons of emotion and like the winds they rise and fall
This is the wonder of devotion - I see the torch we all must hold.
This is the mystery of the quotient - Upon us all a little rain must fall.
Led Zepplin, "The Rain Song"

It's always one thing or another, seems like we never get ahead
Reaching out for the brass ring, and landing in the dirt instead
We can't get past yesterday, we're only counting down from ten
It seems like every move we make, brings us back where we began
You've gotta Run Between The Raindrops
If you wanna see the sun
Run, Run, Run, Between The Raindrops
Run Between The Raindrops, if you wanna see the sun
Run, Run, Run, - Run Baby Run
Pat Benatar, "Run Between The Raindrops"

I saw a friend who doesn't know
If I'm his friend just yet
His eyes and mouth were widely open
And his jaw was set
Like he'd fell off a cliff
And hadn't hit the bottom yet
I wish he wouldn't pull those things on me
Without a net
Without a net
I had him up to the house one time
And we was having a real good time
Then he went and lain
His Saddle in the rain
John Prine, "Saddle in the Rain"

The sky is crying,
Look at the tears rolling down the streets.
The sky is crying,
Look at the tears rolling down the streets.
I looked out my window,
The rain was falling down in sheets.
Eric Clapton, "The Sky Is Crying"

But baby it's alright
Break this chain of love and madness
It's alright
Take this rain as your new address
It's alright
Take this rain
It's alright
Take this rain
You're going to be free
Jackson Browne, "Take This Rain"

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window,
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey
Put your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It's not so bad
Dido, "Thank You"

I thought I heard you laughing
I never wanted to make you cry
I only needed a reason
To see a teardrop caught in your eye

'Coz loving you keeps me from the storm
When It Rains in America
Sarah Brightman, "When It Rains in America"

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
Blind Melon, "No Rain"

And you know the light is fading all too soon
You're just two umbrellas one late afternoon
You don't know the next thing you will say
This is your favorite kind of day
It has no walls, the beauty of the rain
is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls
Dar Williams, "The Beauty of the Rain"

(Many thanks to Rain Songs a la Carte for the help with this list.)

In honor of the impending holiday of doom, today's play list includes some of my favorite lost love songs:

My lover's gone,
His boots no longer by my door,
He left at dawn,
And as I slept I felt him go
Returns no more,
I will not watch the ocean,
My lover's gone,
No earthly ships will ever bring him home again.
Dido, "My Lover's Gone"

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since u took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since u took your love away
Since u been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whoever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Sinead O'Connor, "Nothing Compares 2 U"

And the years have proved
To offer nothing
Since you moved
You're long gone
But I can't move on
And I miss you-
Like the deserts miss the rain
Everything But The Girl, "Missing"

This borrowed dress --
It doesn't do much for me, but it's doing it's best
This stolen purse --
it's got a bad history, but mine is much worse
I've been down on my knees drunk
While you're out doing standup
You're making love to your punchline, baby

When this just ain't my town
I'm just another luxury liner going down
And I guess we're through
Well lucky you
Heather Eatman, "Lucky You"

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

With or without you
With or without you
U2, "With or Without You"

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
Alanis Morrisette, "You Oughta Know"

well we put a thousand miles on that beat up forign car
whenever weather would permit we'd make love under the stars
our happiness completed by being attached and being free
we would each take turns being bobby mcgee
we were headed for salinis, but we hadn't got there yet
some girls you don't remember, some girls you don't forget
Adam Brodsky, "Some Girls"

maybe the moral higher ground
ain't as high as it seems
maybe we are both good people
done some bad things
i just hope it was okay
i know it wasn't perfect
i hope in the end we can laugh
and say it was all worth it
Ani DiFranco, "Hour Follows Hour"

It's Friday the 13th, the rain has turned to ice, and today's play list has a special meaning to me that I'm not going to share. Just the songs. If you can pick out the common thread, good for you.

'Cause I've got a little one who loves me as much as you need me
And, darling, that's loving enough
For a hiking boot mother who's seeing the world
For the first time with her own little girl.
Holly Near, "Started Out Fine"

One night while I was out a ridin'
The grave yard shift, midnight 'til dawn
The moon was bright as a readin' light
For a letter from an old friend back home.

And he asked me
Why do you ride for your money
Tell me why do you rope for short pay
You ain't a'gettin' nowhere
And you're loosin' your share
Boy, you must have gone crazy out there.
Jerry Jeff Walker, "Night Rider's Lament"

Daddy Frank played the guitar and the french harp,
Sister played the ringing tambourine.
Mama couldn't hear our pretty music,
She read our lips and helped the family sing.
That little band was all a part of living,
And our only means of living at the time;
And it wasn't like no normal family combo,
Cause Daddy Frank the guitar man was blind.
Merle Haggard, "Daddy Frank (The Guitar Man)"

I have seen the morning burning golden on the mountain in the sky
Aching with the feeling of the freedom of an eagle when she flies
Turning on the world the way she smiled upon my soul as I lay dying
Healing as the colors in the sunshine and the shadows of her eyes

Waking in the morning to the feeling of her fingers on my skin
Wiping out the traces of the people and the places that I've been
Teaching me that yesterday was something that I never thought of trying
Talking of tomorrow and the money, love and time we had to spend
Loving her was easier than anything I'll ever do again
Kris Kristofferson, "Lovin' Her Was Easier"

It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day
I was out choppin' cotton and my brother was balin' hay
And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the house to eat
And Mama hollered out the back door y'all remember to wipe your feet
And then she said I got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge
Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge
Bobbie Gentry, "Ode To Billy Joe"

But I'll hang around as long as you will let me
I never minded standing in the rain
You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
But you never even call me by my name
Steve Goodman and John Prine, "You Never Even Call Me By My Name"

Predictably.

and i dance to one of your old tunes
with my true love on our wedding day
and your voice sang the way my heart would sing
that finally knew just what to say
Ani DiFranco, "Soft Shoulder"

Love and marriage,
Love and marriage
Go together
Like a horse and carriage
This I tell you brother
You can't have one without the other
Love and marriage, love and marriage
It's an institute you can't disparage
Ask the local gentry
And they will say it's elementary
Frank Sinatra, "Love and Marriage" (AKA the theme to Married With Children)

marriage is impossible marriage is dull
your dance card is empty your plate is too full
it's something no sensible person would do
i wish i was married i wish I was married
i wish i was married to you
Greg Brown, "Marriage Chant"

Choosing saturdays in summer
I dare you to wear white
Love is just a moment of giving
And marriage is when we admit our parents were right
Billy Bragg, "The Marriage"

Marriage is for old folks
Old folks, not for me!
One husband
One wife
Whaddya got?
Two people sentenced for life!
Nina Simone, "Marriage is for Old Folks"

Hey little sister what have you done
Hey little sister who's the only one
I've been away for so long (so long)
I've been away for so long (so long)
I let you go for so long
It's a nice day to start again (come on)
Billy Idol, "White Wedding"

to you i give my pledge
i honor all that's good
in this life we're living
to think not only of myself
Tracy Chapman, "Wedding Song"

I've seen two movies (The Triplets of Belleville and Rabbit-Proof Fence) since I last wrote a review, but I'm going to sidebar those for now in order to review Ani DiFranco's new CD, Educated Guess.

To begin with, I have to cop to my history with Ani. I'm one of those uber-fans. I've been listening to her since Out of Range was her new record, which means I'm a fan of (gulp) ten years. I expect a lot from her. She's been the #1 artist on my soundtrack for a long, long time now. And like a lot of her long-term fans, I've been pretty disappointed by some of her recent releases and her shows. I have no idea if the creature Ani sings about is herself, or if the story she weaves is her own, but I've always just assumed it is, and therefore been more than willing to grow with her and accept her expansions (and, in my view contractions) as part of that process. When her politics dimmed in favor of her broken and breaking heart in Dilate, I was right there with her. Even when she insisting on spending numerous albums recording with a band (folk travesty!), I was patient. I didn't fault her for getting married, I like all her phases.

But I think she may have lost me on this one. It's not the music--this album is back to just her, although it's a weird analog recording and some experimental mixing, rather than just her and her guitar. It's the utter lack of hope on the album. Even when she was wallowing in misery on Dilate, I always felt there was humor, hope, love behind the bitterness. And frankly, Educated Guess is just bitter.

I understand that this may just be another one of her turns--the marriage thing didn't work out, either for Ani herself or for the character Ani sings about, she gave herself wholly and now she's disappointed. I can see that. And maybe her hope will be back on later albums--I hope so, and I'll keep trying. But as for this one, I dunno.

The album begins with a short poem, Platforms,as follows:

life knocked me off my platforms
so i pulled out my first pair of boots
bought on the street at astor place
before new york was run by suits
and i suited up for the long walk
back to myself
closer to the ground now
with sorrow
and stealth

The poem sets the tone for the rest of the album, much of which is centered around needing to be alone, reconnect with herself, etc. In the second track, Swim, she sings, "i let you surround me/i let you drown me/out with your din/and then i learned how to swim." Similarly, the 7th track, Bodily, says "you broke me bodily/the heart ain't the half of it/and i'll never learn to laugh at it/in my good natured way/in fact i'm laughing less in general/but i learned a lot at my own funeral/and i knew you'd be the death of me/so i guess that's the price i pay." The trouble is that the way the songs are recorded, the way her voice sounds, the "I'll never learn to laugh at it" seems a lot truer than the "I learned a lot at my own funeral." It's easier to believe Ani is miserable, and harder to believe that she is learning.

Unsurprisingly, the political tracks are the album's strong points. Back to back on the record,Animal and Grand Canyon show the only sparks I can find of the old Ani. In Animal, she bemoans the imperialism, consumerism and "willful ignorance" of Americans, singing, "and there's this brutal imperial power/that my passport says i represent/but it will never represent where my heart lives/only vaguely where it went." Grand Canyon, however, is the real gem, starting out, "i love my country/by which i mean/i am indebted joyfully/to all the people throughout its history/who have fought the government to make right." She goes on to speak specifically about feminism, both acknowledging the work we have left to do and giving a much-deserved nod of respect to those who came before us, which of course warms my heart:

people, we are standing at ground zero
of the feminist revolution
yeah, it was an inside job
stoic and sly
one we're supposed to forget
and downplay and deny
but i think the time is nothing
if not nigh
to let the truth out
coolest f-word ever deserves a fucking shout!
i mean
why can't all decent men and women
call themselves feminists?
out of respect
for those who fought for this
i mean, look around
we have this

The album version of Grand Canyon doesn't warm my heart quite the way the song did when I saw her live last, when she raised her hands and looked around at an audience full of women, saying with wonder, "we have...this." The album track does a good job at bringing back the memory of that particular moment, though, so it's pretty damn good.

Aside from the usual politics and the bitterness and hopelessness I mentioned, the other common thread I see throughout the album is a sense of worldly exasperation with the weaker sex. In Origami, she sings, "i know men are delicate/origami creatures/who need women to unfold them/hold them when they cry/but i am tired of being your savior/and i am tired of telling you why." I was reminded immediately of Ani's much older work (Make Them Apologize, Fixing Her Hair) when I heard that, and it made me happy. It also made me sad, though--she's spent so long trying to make men into what she wants them to be, no wonder she's tired.

The albums final track, Bubble, she hints at another kind of relationship, writing, "i want you to always remember for me/baby, if you can/how much you hated the woman/who made you a man/and remember for me won't you/back further before that/how you loved her like a boy/cried from the joy/when you weren't laughing." If for no other reason, I'll buy her next album to see where that goes.

All in all, this album wasn't any more or any less disappointing than the last few--it has a few bright spots and a lot of darkness. However, I can't write my disappointment in this one off to the music, because all of the musicians are gone. This is raw Ani, all by herself, and I never thought that would be something I'd be disappointed in.

This is super cool. I stole it from Sister Ananke.

1) Opening credits: "Hungry Like a Wolf" (Courtney Love's cover of the Duran Duran song)
2) Dreaming about someone scene: "Lovin' Her Was Easier (Than Anything I'll Ever Do Again)" by Kris Kristofferson
3) Waking up scene: "Just Like a Woman" by Bob Dylan
4) Happy friends scene: "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette
5) Driving scene: "Me and Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin
6) Action/fight scene: "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses
7) Chase scene: "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
8) Happy love scene: "Rockabye" by Shawn Mullins
9) Mellow scene: "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlife" by A3
10) Choreographed Dance Scene: "Lucky Star" by Madonna
11) Sex scene: "Protection" by Massive Attack
12) Angry/bitter scene: "Sour Times" by Portishead
13) Breakup scene: "School Night" by Ani DiFranco
14) Evil/Revenge scene: "Asking For It" by Hole
15) Contemplation scene: "Anna Begins" by The Counting Crows
16) Sad/breakdown scene: "It's Not Going to Stop" by Aimee Mann
17) Death scene: "Missing" by EVerything But The Girl
18) Funeral scene: "Bridge Over Troubled Waters" by Simon and Garfunkel
19) Nostalgia scene: "Hour Follows Hour" by Ani DiFranco
20) Closing credits: "Sinking" by A3

I went on a binge and bought three new CDs today. I am in heaven. I got:
Courtney Love, America's Sweetheart
Annie Lennox, Bare
and
Just Because I'm a Woman: The Songs of Dolly Parton, featuring the likes of Mindy Smith, Melissa Etheridge and Alison Krauss.

AND I ordered all three of Mary Prankster's CDs the other day, so those should be here soon.

YAY for new music!!

"Kathy, I'm lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping.
I'm empty and aching and I don't know why."
-"America", Simon and Garfunkel

I'm making a mixed CD for the 4th of July. They were playing progressively patriotic songs on the radio on Friday, and it caught my attention. I'm opening it with the song quoted above, which is my favorite Simon and Garfunkel song and one of my favorite songs, period.

But I hear myself in it, and I hear current politics in it, and given that it's over 30 years old now, that makes me really sad. While I am not quite naive enough to believe in linear progress, either personally or nationally, I'd still like to see at least a few steps forward with my steps back, you know? And hard as I look, I'm not seeing much progress lately.

I know it's there--both in my own life and in the life of the nation and the world in which I live--but there is so much bullshit clouding my vision. So much terror. So much disappointment.

A bit ago, a friend of mine identified something in me that I've been aware of for awhile, but haven't had the energy or the guts to say aloud to myself. She said that I cling desperately to one thing, thinking that if I could just fix or figure out that one aspect of my life, everything else would fall into place. This is absolutely true. For awhile, it was "what do I want to do with my life?" More recently, it's been alternating between some sort of acceptance and embracing of my sexuality and finding God or faith or whatever you'd like to call it. I always feel as if I could just figure out that one thing, everything else would suddenly make sense. And frankly, it is so frightening as to be nearly incomprehensible for me to think that isn't the case. That I may find a faith community and still not fit everywhere else, for example, or that I could learn to accept and understand my own sexuality and that wouldn't magically fix any relationship problems I have. That I could ostensibly learn how to love without stings, like I wrote about yesterday, and still not everyone would love me back.

It's not something I even want to think about. I am lost without a goal. More accurately, I guess, I am lost without an obsession. I need to focus on something, to put all of my insecurities about everything else into that one thing. This probably isn't a healthy way to be.

But I'm so tired of trying to change.

I heard Jim White on the radio this morning on the way to work. The name of the song I heard was "Today is a Perfect Day to Chase Tornadoes." I am intrigued. Anyone familiar with him?

From The Princess:

Here's how it works. You select ten CDs you'd take with you to a desert island. You can take them and no others. The only stipulation is that they must come from your current CD library. Modest anthologies (two, maybe three discs) are permitted, but, say, the dozen plus discs in the complete series of the late Isaac Stern, A Life in Music, would not be.

Further rules state that self-made mixes are not allowed, but tribute albums, soundtracks, etc. are OK.

My picks:

1. Ani DiFranco - Living in Clip
2. Dar Williams - Out There Live
3. The Essential Willie Nelson
4. The Hedwig and the Angry Inch Motion Picture Soundtrack
5. The Counting Crows - August and Everything After
6. A3 - Exhile on Coldharbour Lane
7. Hole - Live Through This
8. Nirvana - Nevermind
9. Johnny Cash - American IV: The Man Comes Around
10. Portishead - Dummy

(From Frog.)

Ten bands/artists you couldn't live without:
[1] Ani DiFranco
[2] Dar Williams
[3] A3
[4] Dan Bern
[5] Mary Prankster
[6] Adam Brodsky
[7] Heather Eatman
[8] Kris Kristofferson
[9] Nirvana
[10] Portishead

Nine albums that are important to you:
[1] Ani DiFranco, Out of Range
[2] Kris Kristofferson, Best of Kristofferson
[3] Nirvana, Nevermind
[4] Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack
[5] Ani DiFranco, Dilate
[6] A3, Exhile on Coldharbour Lane
[7] Portishead, Dummy
[8] Massive Attack, Protection
[9] Holly Near, that live album my mom has

Eight movies you'd watch over and over:
[1] The Princess Bride
[2] The animated Disney Robin Hood
[3] Hedwig and the Angry Inch
[4] Gia
[5] Satisfaction
[6] Fight Club
[7] Steel Magnolias
[8] Beaches

Seven things that annoy you:
[1] boredom
[2] counting calories
[3] my hair frizz
[4] driving
[5] my non self-cleaning house
[6] feeling obligated
[7] being talked at when I yearn for quiet

Six songs you love:
[1] Origin of Love, from the Hedwig soundtrack
[2] Bridge Over Trouble Water, Simon & Garfunkel
[3] As Cool As I Am, Dar Williams
[4] School Night, Ani DiFranco
[5] Someday When We're Both Alone, Greg Brown
[6] Me and Bobby McGee, Kris Kristofferson

Five TV shows you never miss:
[1] The West Wing
[2] While You Were Out
[3] Trading Spaces
[4] What Not to Wear
[5] the plastic surgery shows on Discovery Health

Four of your favorite books:
[1] The Clown of God, Tomie di Paola
[2] Our Bodies, Ourselves
[3] Scars of Sweet Paradise, Ruth Rosen
[4] The Color Purple, Alice Walker

Three albums you recently bought:
[1] Lucy Kaplansky, The Red Thread
[2] Uncle Tupelo, No Depression
[3] Ani's new bootlegs

Two famous people you'd like to fuck:
[1] Angelina Jolie
[2] Samantha Morton

One band that is the soundtrack of your life:
[1] If I have to pick just one, it's Ani

"Anthem '84"
If you're looking for a fighter who'll defend you
And love you for your Freedom. I'm your man.
And I ain't gonna leave you for the crazy things you're doing
But don't ask me to lend a helping hand.

But I still believe in all that we believed in.
And I pray to God that you will in the end.
And you'll see the golden chances that you're wasting.
And be the loving beauty that you can.
-Kris Kristofferson

God. It's been 20 years since he wrote that, and we're in the same place now. Kris, why aren't they listening?

All weekend I meant to blog, but I was distracted. You see, 5 years after the rest of the world, I finally got The Sims (for $5 at the Goodwill, no less). And I am an instant addict. It's not even funny. They had me at hello.

It was a busy weekend otherwise, as well. Mark is sick and had to be babied, I went to see Ani, I looked at a bunch of houses, and I watched the Puppy Bowl. Oh, and I attempted to make gingerbread from Laura Ingalls Wilder's recipe (did you know today is her birthday?). I don't suggest you try it. Either the recipe is bad, or one of the spices I used was too old, or something, because the shit isn't even edible.

Ani was amazing. Inspiring. Better than I have seen her in years. She played better, she played longer, she seemed relaxed and upbeat--like the old Ani. I was really really happy I forked out the $40 and went, and if you are of the Ani persuasion, I suggest you do the same--even if you haven't been impressed with her in the last handful of years. It's just her and an good, understated (cute) upright bass player named Todd. Then when you go, tell me what you think about Andrew Bird, who is opening for her on this tour. I am honestly perplexed as to what I think, except to say that the man has a mean whistle.

I am trying to write every day for Lent. Can't think of anything to say at the moment, though, so here's what I am listening to/thinking about:

"The Ballad of Mary Magdalene"
by Richard Shindell

My name is Mary Magdalene
I come from Palestine
Please excuse these rags I'm in
I've fallen on hard times
But long ago I had my work
When I was in my prime
But I gave it up
And all for love
It was his career or mine

He was always faithful
He was always kind
But he walked off with this heart of mine

"Jesus Was a Capricorn"
by Kris Kristofferson

Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.
Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.

Help yourself, brother.
Help yourself, Gentlemen.
Help yourself Reverend.

From Frog:

Using only the music of one of your favorite musical artists, answer these questions:

1. Are you male or female?: Irresponsible Woman
2. Describe yourself: Tempest
3. How do some people feel about you?: Arm's Length
4. How do you feel about yourself?: Roulette Girl
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Darlin'
6. Where would you rather be?: Punk Rock Heaven
7. Describe what you want to be: Rational Bohemian
8. Describe how you live: Student Loan
9. Describe how you love: Sadie Hawkins Day
10. Share a few words of wisdom: The World Is Full of Bastards